I'm too young to talk about marriage and "settling down" right now, but I came across this peculiarity in our Marriage customs a few days back.

We keep talking about "Tujhe accha pati milega" , "khush rakhega" and all.

We try to marry into a better family or higher up the social ladder.

The practice of Hypergamy is prevalent in our society.

Its the set way.

And this leads to another evil, Dowry.

Paying an extravagantly high dowry is a ticket to better socio-economic connections. In short, you must have a lavish wedding that would suit the levels of extravagance of the family you're sending your daughter to.

But because Women-folk prove to be expensive in the long run as well as the short run, We treat them as liabilities.

So just prevent them from being born.


What brought this on?

I came home yesterday and went for a walk downstairs. Met a few aunties who exclaimed " You've grown so tall! " "Beta kya kar rahe ho?" etc etc.

One of them exclaimed, "Sangeeta-ji se kehna padega ladke dekhne shuru kare!"


Shaadi ki bateein.

Why couldn't they talk about the Greek debt crisis with me? (their own ignorance not-withstanding)
I am educated enough to hold a sensible discussion on the topic.

But really, all the investment we put into a girl's education, isn't it just perceived as a replacement for dowry?

Jo abhi ni denge, vo kama ke de degi.
I know I'm generalizing, but I just want to bring a few things up.

Infanticide may not be practised in the society I live in. But "Marrying-up" does.

One/Two/Three out of the three do/does exist in every society.

Thankfully I've been blessed with parents who never held me back. Or never thought of me being any less than a boy.
But there are a lot of people who need a reality check.

We need to stop thinking of marriage as the ultimate goal of a girl's life.

And simply let her live.


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