An Indian Girl's World.: 2013

My Spirit is Old, My Body Young.

My Spirit is old, my body young.

Burdened with songs left unsung.

Tomorrow is at the door,

bringing sorrows a score,

As night lays a-spread,

Morning is what I dread.

To sleep is hard,

till my soul departs.

I clothe my restlessness,

In deep darkness.

My Spirit has seen much,

It no longer can be touched,

I wish it could float away,

before a new day.

Yet the night I must endure,

To settle old scores,

Yes, I'll stay a while more,

With a Spirit sore.

About Anticipation.

I like anticipation.

I think everybody does.

You get home, undress and sleep - with an anticipation of tomorrow.

You have a fuzzy idea of what you'll do.

Wake up to wonder.

Brush.

Rush.

You prepare yourself for what you think will come.

And hope that it'll be enough.

You hope.

You reminisce.

You look before you leap.

Like tidy little sentences, you bind yourself.

And brace yourself.

To slay yet another monster.

For there are too many.

Come morning, you go through the motions.

Of slowly peeling off the sleep from your eyes.

And embracing the dawn.

Anticipation helps.

It's a strategist.

For the war you're about to wage on the world.

I like anticipation.

I think everybody does.

Ramblings

My body is young,

But my spirit is old.

Weary and weathered,

by all that it beholds.

Words and thoughts meander,

they confound the present,

with deeds past,

remind you of your descent.

All that is good is gone,

from the other side of youth,

things glimmer,

all seems good.

But its a fallacy,

that preys upon the young,

they battle life until they die,

like heroes unsung.

No song of happiness,

escapes this dreary hole,

tattered pieces,

this is all that remains of this soul.

You lose it all one day,

and give up the fight,

after some years,

you forget to differ between the wrong and right.

Night-time is when we feel alright,

Night is like a friend,

A cloak to hide under,

When you've been torn up and rent.

Say

We've all got a story to tell.

Fears to share.

Things to shout about from mountain tops.

I personally love writing about what I feel as opposed to saying it.

Maybe I'm more of a 'close your eyes and feel' person.
And when I close my eyes, I can see what I feel flash before my very eyes..

I do try to say what I feel at times.. Try and express myself in a way that is more prevalent and in use.

But nothing beats the feeling of putting your pen to paper and bleeding your emotions to make the ink that stains those pages.

Words spoken seem to float away in empty space. While writing them down traps them forever.

I prefer to be certain and remember what I felt ,than to let it pass.

The Friends We Lose In The Journey To 'Today'.

Growing up, I was always a very creative child.

I revelled in the glory of crayons, tubs of paint and blank canvasses.

I wanted to create, with anything and everything I could lay my hands on.

While my friends would spend their time on the swings, I would enjoy collecting the wet mud from underneath those swings. That was like clay for me, to be moulded as I desired.

As I grew up, I changed cities, schools, friends and as a consequence, my hobbies.

Even art periods in school were never conducive to what I really wanted to do.

Art teachers would ask me to paint a subject - mostly it was an apple on a table.

I would be careful to paint within the lines, while all that my heart really wanted to do was make bold strokes, that blurred the edges of what was supposed to be right or wrong.

Today, I am able to achieve satisfaction in this area by indulging in cooking.

I create with these two hands that I have been given.

It thrills me.

It completes me.

But there are a few friends that I lost on the way here.

I had to make a few trade-offs - time is valuable you see.

I had to cull away my creativity in order to give time to more pressing matters.

Education - and by this I mean "good" marks.

So that I can get into a college of repute.

Then a job.

And so on.

But Creativity is a part of me.

It has been my friend in those dark hours that plague most of us from time to time.

It has been an escape from the dreary reality that is sometimes too much to bear.

It has been a wonderful mirror to my thoughts.

I realized this today - You can't cull it away.

You can bottle it.

You can water it down.

But it will escape and astound you with what it can do.

I thought I'd forgotten how to sketch.

Until something I saw (a comic) - inspired me to try my hand at recreating it.

I realized how much I missed the feel of drawing paper.

The slightly rough surface, designed to hold your pencil strokes forever.

It is forgiving and does not judge you.

It can contain your fevered mind in its strength.

You just need to trust it and start inking.

This is what I created.

And I feel amazing to know that my skills are not gone. They need a little bit of nurturing and reassurance.

But they've never left me.

Faith. Trust. Reassurance.

It feels great to have these things in your life, regardless of how successful you are.

It can come from anyone. It could be intended and clear, or you could assume someone's friendly smile for it.

But if its there, it makes you shine.

I'm glad it happens frequently with me. I get to shine. Burn bright.

The Importance of Being Earnest.

Sticking to a schedule, a deadline, a commitment.

Its always hard.

Its hard to study for too long.

Its hard to focus.

Its hard to stay invested too long.

Its hard to stay committed to a cause, an activity.

And this is something I'd like to change about myself.

I don't know how long this change will last.

Well, atleast its a start.

Retail Therapy :D

Things and Things and Things :D

The lure of the (Upto) 50% tag is too much to resist for me.

Now that I'm a few (British) Pounds lighter - and much happier too, I thought I'd blog about a few things running through my head!

1. Lost kids.

I know it sounds cruel, but there's something about a crying, snotty kid that I adore.

Before you jump to conclusions - Hear me out!

I find them cute because they're so scared and confused and so obviously in need of help.

And that's all it takes for me to go up to them to calm them and try to locate their parents.

2. Huge - Annoying Aunties.

I'm talking about those "Expensive Bag Clutching", "Heels clattering", "Sunglasses like crowns on the head" type of aunties.

Yacking away, harassing store help, crumpling clothes and leaving lipstick smears.

Damn you!

3. Judgemental Skinny Bitches.

Yes I know, I'm nowhere in the same neighbourhood of size as you are. But I am a healthy, sane, loving (and loved) individual too. And every size IS beautiful. I do not need your over-tweezed eyebrows raised in case I ask the attendant for a larger size than the one I'm currently wearing.

4. Shit faced hoodlums.

Yes. Those weird guys with gel in their hair who travel in packs trying to look all cool and stuff.

Wish they would be barred from entering places decent people frequent.

5. Out of Stock sizes.

Dear Stores, If you want people to buy from you, please realize that we do not like parting with our money unless the product makes us happy. Anything short of consumer happiness is a sin.

If I like something and wear a certain size, I would require that size to be in stock to BUY it from you.

If its not there, I dont buy.

Lose - Lose.

All said, it was a nice and happy day.

Tiring - Yes.

But Happy?

Oh Yes!

You Are.

You are my morning song,

and my winter sun.

The warm blanket I reach for,

when my ships are sunk.

The rope for this labyrinth,

the twinkle in the sand,

the miles on the dashboard,

tell me where we'll land.

Time is liquid,

unaccounted for,

Try as I might,

Something I can never have enough of.

You colour all that's good around,

varied hues,

At the back of my mind,

myriad shades of blue.

The beginning coincides,

with the end,

You're the face I look for,

round every bend.

Never too near,

Never too far.

Yet you exist.

You are.

Have We Become Too Judgemental?

I was sitting in the cab to office, when this thought struck me.

We tend to put people in boxes.

Stereotypes based on :

Attributes

Regions/Race

Attitude

Clothes

Gadgets

Looks

When I say this, I include myself in the mix as well.

I have become judgemental as well.

Which is not nice you know.

I feel like that has made me lose objectivity.

Biases have crept in.

Sometimes these "snap" judgements are correct.

And needed.

But at times, it seems like a sorting process is going on in my head, unconsciously tagging people till further review.

What a waste of brain-space :D

Need a reboot :)

The Intangibles.

in·tan·gi·ble

/inˈtanjəbəl/

Adjective

Unable to be touched or grasped; not having physical presence.

Noun

An intangible thing.

Synonyms

impalpable - untouchable

The intangibles in my life - stuff around me, living and breathing in my conscious sphere is so important to my well-being. I would like to tell them how much they mean to me and my very existence.

Things that can't be measured. They hold me steady in life.

They give me strength.

They give me hope.

They give me faith, when I need it the most.

They taught me patience.

They taught me to laugh.

They teach me that life isn't an X-Y graph.

The intangible is always around me.

Whether I'm near to the source or far away.

It washes over me in gentle waves, to remind me that I'm loved, cherished and wanted.

They're there when I need them the most. Gentle and firm. Saying - "Get up. Try again!"

Why me?

Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes, I just sit and count my blessings.

A Cake With Personality.

There are few cakes with as much character as chocolate.

Dark, brooding and mysterious in its sinful excess.... its a cake that fascinates and amazes me every single time I bake it.

This cake is a no-fuss, one bowl cake.

Meaning?

Just dump in the ingredients in the correct order, whip them into submission and bake the hell out of it!

Want the recipe?

Here goes!

You'll need :

1/2 Cup of Butter at room temperature

1 Egg

1/2 Cup Granulated sugar

1/2 Cup Yoghurt

1/2 Milk

1 tsp Vanilla Extract

1 + 1/2 Cup Flour

3/4 cups Cocoa

1/4 Baking Soda

1/2 Baking Powder

What to do next?

Combine Butter, Sugar, Eggs and Vanilla.

Whip till creamy.

Add the Cocoa.

Mix till even.

While you're doing this, put the oven on pre-heat at 160 C :)

Once you're satisfied with this mixture, add in the milk and yoghurt.
Then, very slowly ( so that the flour doesn't fly up into your face!), Sift the Flour and Baking Powder + Baking Soda into it.

Tada! Batter ready!

Pour into a Baking tin and put into the oven at 160 C for 60 minutes.

At around 55 mins, open the oven and check if done. (Insert a skewer - I use spaghetti! - into the centre to see if its done!)

If its done, enjoy!

What Do You See In The Mirror?

Do you see your flaws?

Those tiny bits that need to be lost?

Or do you see yourself as an accomplishment?

A miracle?

So much depends on the state of mind you may be in!

If you're angry and depressed, all you may see might be the 'bad' bits.

If you're happy and carefree, you might just wink at your reflection and smile !

Retail Therapy/Self Help - Depression makes the economy go around!

Cuz Money still can't buy Happiness. But it can buy the shortcut!

How real. How true. And How blunt.

On Offence and Defence.

Have you ever had to bite your tongue?

Of course you have!

But try it for months on end.

Ugh.

We're all surrounded by stupid people we don't like. And unfortunately, have to tolerate.

However blunt you may be, you need to sometimes hold it in.

How I hate that!

Offence and Defence.

Its like a trade-off between the two.

I wish someone had set such people right in their growing years!

Parents/Teachers/Older people who knew better - where were you?

Stupidity can still be forgiven.

But these are stupid people with no soul!

They should be tethered like cows and kept isolated from the rest of us.

Well, not literally..

Just be given an attitude adjustment probably.

Sigh.

Lets just chuck it.

A Few Ways To Stay Creative.

There are times when "Inspiration" gets replaced by "Frustration" in my life.

Creativity takes a hit and suffers in some dark corner of my soul :P

In such stressful times, I find that it helps to follow a few points :)

(P.S. I love making lists!)

~ Don't Force It - If its not there, it just won't come.

~ Try Free Writing - Stop correcting yourself. Just write. You can edit later.

~ Be Open - To experiences, to stimuli, to everything. That idea you need is just around the corner!

~ Complete it - I have endless sheets of unfinished poems, stories etc. I can't bring myself to throwing them away nor can I complete them. Its a bad cycle to get stuck in you know.

~ Clean something - Yourself, your room, I don't know...Anything! It somehow creates mental space for ideas to burgeon.

~ Sleep & Keep a bedside Diary - Resting and relaxing opens my mind to creative thoughts. Also, most of my best ideas come to me in bed! Dreams and thoughts are so hard to keep track of. A bedside diary or a journal is amazing for this!

~ Make Lists - They don't require that much commitment, or grammar. They're a good start to get the engine running!

~ Read or listen to Music - If you surround yourself with beauty and creativity, you're increasing your chances of being beautiful and creative too! (Transference anyone?)

~ Smile and think about your life - Count your blessings. Positivity helps! (Also what you do won't be just a macabre depiction of your life, out to bore your readers :P)

~ Get Feedback - Encouragement helps!

~ Don't give up - Its wrong when people say that "Well begun is half done." In fact its easier to start than to complete. Completing takes conviction and commitment. Put it this way - If you can't commit to something (anything - an article, a project you started, whatever!) how well does that bode for everything else in your life?

If all else fails, refer to Point 1. Don't force it. Don't force anything ever :)

Stay Happy.

To Be Capable Of Wonder.

How infinitely important it is to wonder! :)

To not be amazed, is to not live at all!

The world is out there, throwing the good and bad at us. Its all amazing if you think about it.

I tend to dwell and sink into the bad side of things - usually.

It comes with my pragmatic nature and careful approach.

But

Wonder and Merriment - go hand in hand - They're extremely necessary to feel.

They're there if you look carefully.

They may be in :

The wonder you see in your partner.

In feeling the wet grass beneath your feet.

In a beautiful song.

Or a warm cup of tea.

All these stimuli.

Its so important to let them overwhelm you !

Life is about those moments that amaze you. Even if its when you're sitting curled up in sheets, and thinking about something/someone you have.

I sometimes spend entirely too much time on brooding.

I want to be amazed.

I can be amazed.

And those wonderful things aren't that hard to find :)

I Hesitate.

I Stop.

I Prevent.

I can't bring myself to throwing notebooks away, because I've scribbled on the margins of them.

Snippets and thoughts and songs.

Its weird, and kinda mad.

To be the scribbler that I am!

But slowly dreaming, with open eyes.

I think up my best ideas and they need to be written down.

Immediately, or else they'll never be found.

Like right now, I'm loving the fact that I can write,

Create something, that feels just right.

Some Link Love :)

Well, I love organizing and printing and labelling and all that!

And printables and I are like made for each other!

I love these kitchen-y prints :)

Tada!

Check out the Kitchen Stuff.

And this Kitchen Cheat Sheet!

Baking 911 anyone?

And the Best!

XOXO :)

Write. And Write Well.

We write to express.

To say things unsaid.

To calm our minds.

To repay old debts.

If you write, write well.

Write little, but make sure its swell.

Make it count.

Make it matter.

Don't let it loose,

Like nervous chatter.

But hone it into sound,

A beautiful melody.

That captures colours,

Despite its brevity.

Write to inspire.

In the process,

Well,

You might perspire.

Write a thing with permanence.

With love.

Smile.

Write.

Playing The Blame-Game.

Things will keep happening.

Life is dynamic.

Its a sum of changes.

It has no constants.

When things don't go according to plan, we hate it.

People like you and I are predisposed towards behaving in a certain kind of way - Blaming.

We're pros at playing the Blame-Game.

We blame Time.

We blame Money.

We blame People.

We blame Ourselves.

We blame Everything.

I'm one of you. I'm not any different. I blame and curse as well.
However, for some reason today, I thought a bit about this objectively. And I thought -

We blame. But why?

To get away? To shirk responsibility? Maybe.

To come to terms? To gain closure? Maybe.

To be save the guilt? Maybe.

I think its for Self-Preservation.

We're very proud of how we look. How important we are. How valuable self-esteem is to us.

We're hoarders - and we hoard wealth - in any form.

Any blows to our psyche can upset everything around us.

A bad mood can ruin a lot.

We're emotionally frail. Its true.

That's why we blame. Anything.

Time and Money - Sure you know how and why we blame them.

But we blame ourselves too. Just to feel the pain that's strangely good for us. We go back and nit-pick at things and events gone by. We mentally bash ourselves into submission - because it feels powerful.

We're weird creatures. In our quest for Self-Preservation, we sometimes need to burn ourselves down to build ourselves back up.

I just hope that we always remember to re-create what we just destroyed.

A Few 'Weighty' Issues.

Sometimes things weigh heavily on my mind.
Try as I might, I find it hard to shake off this feeling - of being weighed down.

I think a lot. I think way too much.

Someone close to me once said - "Think. There's no harm in thinking. But think about the good stuff. Don't waste it on the bad stuff!"

I agree.

But thinking about the bad stuff ? Well, its strangely cathartic.

Its painful. Its hurtful. But its necessary.

Coming to terms with your deficiencies & limitations is so much easier when you have someone by your side.

Someone who can be your strength when you're running a little low. =)

Don't get me wrong - I am as independent as they come. And confident. And happy.

But every person has their wobbly bits - so to speak! And you need to learn to love them :)

I know.

I know that I am a little lost.

A little cryptic too.

A bit preoccupied, of course.

And a little bit blue.

I am young right now.

But forever, I wont be.

A winding path, for myself to show.

Where it takes, we'll see.

I know that I'm listless.

A little bit screwed.

With words restless,

I am a song, unwritten too.

To be complete.

Is an end I long for.

To be replete.

With memories to sing of.

I confuse you for much more.

Dear Life,

I fight and sometimes I lose,

Left disappointed and sore.

But not all who wander are lost,

And all who are lost, want to be found.

Leaving things behind is a cost.

In saying this, I might even sound unsound.

Cake In A Mug - The Recipe!

Hello :)

I'm sure that you must be wanting a recipe in order to bake a cake in a mug! So I'm gonna be a darling and do just that :)

The Recipe :

4 tbsp - Flour
4 tbsp - Powdered Sugar
3 tbsp - Oil
3 tbsp Milk
2 tbsp - Cocoa
1 Egg
A few drops of Vanilla Essence
1/4 tsp of Baking Soda

The Method :

Whisk all the dry ingredients together in a mug. Add the wet ingredients - one by one - and keep whisking till smooth. Put your mug in the centre of the microwave and cook for 4-5 minutes! The cake should be done within that time!

Have fun with it, play around with it! Add chocolate chips or raisins to dress it up! Or just add a scoop of Vanilla Ice cream - straight into the hot mug and dig in!

Lots of Love!
Aradhna

Velvet & Cakes.

I've always been intrigued by Red Velvet Cakes.

Intrigued.

Amazed.

Attracted.

This is bliss.

This is home.

This is what being amazed feels like.

A Little Red Heart.

I was thinking today that I've always been more in love with the idea of being in love, than with being in love.

The lyrics to 'Fidelity' come to mind when I think of the idea of love.

" I never loved nobody fully

Always one foot on the ground
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
I hear in my mind
All these voices
I hear in my mind all these words
I hear in my mind all this music
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
And it breaks my heart
It breaks my heart "

Is love = laying in a park and watching the sky? Carving your initials onto tree barks?
Is it falling asleep dreaming and hoping that your dream will come true?

I've done all that. And I don't know if it captures the whole idea of it.

Is it about sharing your stories, your fears, your regrets, your fantasies?

I've done that too. This comes a little closer to it.

Its a strange world, where give and take is the norm.

How many laws apply?

Is having no rules - the only rule?

I'm asking questions - questions that have no answers.

And that scares me a little.

Maybe its a feeling, best left undefined.

Its about savouring the moments you have and making a few more :)

I'm Gonna Burn.

I'm Gonna Shine & Multiply.

Why stop?

To stop to rest - is something I understand. Even follow.

But to stop in absolute? Nope. Not for me.

Just like the Earth tends to change - slowly and surely - I change too. In fact, what I am today is nothing but a sum of changes.

To stay in motion is important to stay afloat. That's like a basic law. The moment you stop kicking, you sink.

I sometimes feel like 21 is the prime of my life that came too soon. Have I peaked? I mean, am I at the summit? And all that remains is the fall? I don't know.

I'm not even a quarter over with my life. Yet, it feels like most of it is already over.

I'm not depressed. I'm just quite confused. I'm burning. Slowly and steadily. And all that'll remain will be ashes, that I can expect to be gone in the blink of an eye!

But in the end, I'm sure it'll all make perfect sense.

I don't know why, but I'm sure of this fact.

:)

Cake In A Mug!

It was a lazy day/night again and all I could think of, was chocolate. About how lush and beautiful it is. How it makes me think of dew and gardens and lilies and madness!

Well, just thinking isn't enough right! A piece of chocolate just doesn't cut it sometimes and a moist & spongey cake is all you need to be happy!

Enter - Cake in a Mug!

I know that you're probably thinking that all I'm doing nowadays is baking. Well, its kinda true!

/:)

But as long as you're happy, just do what you want to do. Nobody should ever be able to dent your happiness!

Tada!

Its the simplest recipe ever!

Who needs Shelter?

There are few songs in this world that can reduce me to a slowly beating lump of melancholia.

This is one of them.

Who needs shelter - Jason Mraz

I first heard this song in a movie. Remember Chasing Liberty? That Mandy Moore chick flick? I was so young back then! And its been maybe 10 years since that time. I will never forget the words or the music to this....

Ever.

I Used To Have A Little Piece Of Earth..

..that I used to call my own.

It was called B -16.

It had all the things I loved.

It was home.

It was me.

But its gone now.

I knew that 3 years were all I had with it.

And I did make them count.

But can you ever get enough of a good thing?

I don't think so.

I left a mark there on the furniture.

It said - Aradhna was here.

The bed, that I've crashed onto.

Studied, eaten, jumped like mad & also cried into.

The mirror beside my bed. So many times have I looked into it. Wondered. Wondered.

I still do wonder.

I sometimes wonder. Could I die, hugging that piece of earth? Happy?

And I think, I could.

Cake in a Jar!

Ever since I started working, I've found that weekends have become more important than they ever had been!

Saturdays and Sundays! You help me nurture my inner Nigella!

You help me mess around with my life. You help me stay spontaneous and crazy!

Well, my typical Saturday may not be your typical Saturday! I ~~spent~~ am spending my day lounging around in pajamas and eating cake batter and drinking endless cups of tea - and I'm moving in spurts.

Spurts?

Well, there are varying periods of activity coupled with utter sloth-fullness.

I can literally see the dent in the mattress that I've made, sitting in one place, glued to TV!

I know that I'm wasting my time! I mean I could be out there - doing something! But no - for today, Aradhna has been reduced to a slightly rumpled couch potato. And she loves it :)

But you see, I did do something a wee bit useful with my time!

For one - You have a blog post!

(I know - I'm killing my blog by not updating frequently, but believe me! There are ideas! But I get so lazy..... :( Forgive me! )

And I also have a DIY for you!

Okay - so some background on this - I love making gifts for people. If I buy something from a store, the reason behind it is either that I can't make that thing or that I really don't like that person! :P

Now I also love to bake. But I can't really bake a cake for someone every time :( Sometimes there's jsut too much going on in my life and it gets hard to manage all things together!

Enter - Cake in a Jar! (YAY!)

This little jar combines what I want to do and love so easily!

I mean its terribly easy to throw in a few dry ingredients together, stick on a recipe and hand it over!

You give the person the pleasure of baking from scratch, without the mess! No recipe - scouting either!

All you need to do is throw in some butter, eggs and milk and just push the concoction into a hot oven !

Voila!

CAKE! :)

There you have it. A day - well used!

Stay happy :)

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Edit :

I realized that in the event that you're actually following the recipe, you don't have much information about it here. Oops! My bad!

So here's the proper Ingredients + Method thingy below :

Ingredients:

For the Jar Mix :

1 + 1/2 Cup Flour

1 Cup Powdered Sugar

1 tsp Baking Powder

A pinch of salt.

This way, you can simply gift the Jar with instructions, or store it in your pantry for those lazy days when all you crave is cake and can't get off your butt to actually take the long way there!

Now I had an extreeeeemely lazy Saturday. And I was just tooooo vella!!!!

How to use the Jar Mix :

So all you have to do is whip 3 eggs and 1/2 cup + 1/3 cup of butter together, throw in a teaspoon of vanilla essence and 3 tablespoons of milk.

This is the wet mix, into which you shall eventually incorporate the dry stuff you made earlier.

If the mix comes out to be too dry, don't despair! Just add a few more tablespoons of milk and it'll all be sorted! :)

Baking Instructions : Pour into a greased tin at 180*C for approx 45 mins. (Convection of course!)

Tada!!!!

Numb & Number.

(And it gets weirder from here onwards.)

You know this relationsip thing? It so much like this :

Urgh!

_________________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer : Before you start surmising something, they're just observations. Any reference to people, living or dead, is purely coincidental! /:D